The Rainy Drive or otherwise known Tortured Souls
by PepsiOreos
Summary: Jay and Alex fic. Set sometime after Secrets. Rating is for language. Jay was out driving one night, and picks up someone that he thought would never even want to ride with him again.
1. Default Chapter

A/N I hope you like it, it's my first shot at a Jalex fic, and please I would love reviews so I know I'm not wasting my time.

Cruising. That had been about all that Jay had been doing since he had made that mistake. The mistake that cost him the person he probably loved most in the world. It was a dark night, gloomy and rather spooky, but it brought Jay comfort. It was how he felt inside, so therefore, it didn't matter. Rain splattered on the windshield, something that it had been doing for at least half an hour, and Jay found himself close to the small shack that Alex had to call home. It was rather small, and unkept, her parents either too drunk or gone to care about how it looked. The shack was dark, all of the lights were turned off, and it was quiet, the only light coming from the small street lamp on the corner that had just barely illuminated it. He almost kept driving, but he noticed a figure crouched on the curb, shaking and soaked. He realized, with horror, that it was Alex.

She was only wearing a light looking jacket and her white wifebeater with a pair of her faded pants. He stopped the car, and rolled down the window.

"Alex?" he asked softly, and she looked up.

Her eyes were puffy and red, and were full of sorrow, but when she saw who it was, her eyes burned with anger, "What in the hell do you want? Just go away."

"Are you alright?" he asked, ignoring her last comments.

"What does it matter?" she snapped, "Compared to what you did to me, this is nothing."

Guilt washed threw Jay like a tidal wave. He didn't quite know why he had even done that to her, unless he was just trying to find the part of him that he felt like he'd lost. He had lost even more of himself when he lost her.

"Alex….I'm sorry, would you just get in the car? You're going to die or something if you don't. Why are you outside anyway?" He said, rather impatient, but with a sense of caring at the same time.

"You're sorry? You're sorry? Ha, that's funny, and I wouldn't get in that car if you paid me. I'd rather die, and it's not any of your damn business why I'm outside. I thought that I would enjoy getting soaked, I haven't had a good shower in awhile." She said the last part sarcastically, anger raging with every word that left her mouth. She still loved him, sure, but he had hurt her too much for her to want to be with him again. Trust was something that wasn't in her vocabulary anymore.

Jay sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, before he grabbed his hat, and put it on, getting out of the car. Alex had always liked him more without his hat, but his hat did give him more of the badass image that she had really loved about him, well, still loved about him.

"Lexxi….dammit, don't be so stubborn." "Don't call me Lexxi!" She snapped, "You lost that right, and I'll be stubborn if I want to you asshole!" she yelled, glaring at him.

Jay stepped closer to her, his shoes making a soft patter against the cold and wet cement. "Alex…..just tell me what happened." He said in an ordering tone that was filled with curiosity and care.

Alex continued to glare at him, but she didn't have the energy to argue over something as stupid as to why she was out there.

They both knew how her parents were, and Jay had accepted it without a question or smart-ass remark. He was constantly worried about her, but he didn't care for her any less when he knew how her parents were. Of course, his parents were too far away to even care about how he was, and Alex had accepted that too. Their parents didn't matter to them, just each other.

"They left me," she said simply, looking away from him, rather ashamed. Her parents weren't the best, but neither one of them thought that they would leave her all alone. "They took the keys, all the stuff, and left. There's nothing there, they even took my clothes." Her voice was no longer as angry and hateful as it had been, but rather still surprised and upset at the same time. "Why would they take my clothes, Jay? Unless they want to just disown me. I guess I'm no longer their problem." She shivered again, her teeth barely chattering together. Jay could see her breath in the air, and he was afraid that she had been outside so long she would catch something.

Jay's eyes widened, "Shit Alex, are you sure they took your clothes? Have you even been in there?"

Alex nodded her head, "No dumbass, I just figured they did, of course I've been in there."

"Then why didn't you stay in there then come out here? Do you want to die?" he asked, as he sat next to her, not minding that it was making his bottom wet, and the rain had started to pour heavier.

"I didn't want to, it's just as cold in there, and dying doesn't sound so bad right now."

Jay looked at the ground for a moment, not sure what to say. He was such a monster, he was surprised he could even live with himself. Well, was this really living? Drinking away his sorrows and mistakes, when they only came back to haunt him once he passed out? No, that wasn't living, he had stopped truly living when he'd cheated on Alex. Cheating had seemed so dangerous, so rebellious, and Jay had gotten addicted to it. Too addicted to think about what cared most in the world. Not stupid girls coming to you for stupid bracelets that they brag over like trophies.

"Alex….just go for a ride with me…I'll get you some clothes." He said softly, still more of a command than a request. "One ride…please."

Jay had a hard time speaking that word and actually meaning it, because he almost never had to ask for something, he just took it, that's how it had always been. He had never cared for anyone or anything and then she'd happened.

Alex studied the side of his face for a moment, wanting in her mind to tell him to go to hell and get off her curb but something in her heart made her say, her voice just a whisper amongst the pittering pattering of the rain, "Okay."


	2. Familiarity Lingers, but is Lost

Jay's car was warm, as it usually was when it was cold outside. Jay had a tendency to keep it that way, even when he himself was wearing a jacket. Alex partly wondered if it had just been because of her lack of clothing covering her arms, but now it seemed like it was out of habit unless she was wrong. She shivered regardless at the familiarity of it all, of the stupid arguments and talks that they had went through in the car. She remembered the last argument they had the one after she found out what he had given her. Jay couldn't believe that he had, and he had just let it all out to her in a calm sense of misery and regret.

She was broken from her thoughts, when he asked, "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm as fine as I'm going to be." She said, her voice still with a sense of coldness.

Jay sighed, and started the car, music playing lowly in the quiet. He usually had it blaring, but with what had happened lately, he would just rather have it barely on, just a memory of how it had been.

Alex noticed this, and looked at him with cockiness, "What? Are you just coming to realize that music doesn't have to make your car shake?"

"Are you just coming to realize that everything doesn't have to do with what you think?" Jay snapped, his own temper flaring. They had argued like this all the time before he had cheated on her, just over useless and worthless crap that neither one of them truly cared about.

"Maybe I'm just coming to terms with you not being everything that I thought you were." She glared at him, as the car slowly started to drive away from her house. Jay was silent for a few minutes, before he stated, "I told you that I wasn't anything special."

Alex just watched the rain hit the hood, as she muttered quietly, "Yeah, only I wasn't anything special either."

She had felt a strange sense of acceptance with Jay, they were both from the wrong side of the tracks, and they both had an image they liked to withhold, whether it was a good one or not. The car was silent again, except for the pounding of the rain on the car, the windshield wipers, and the music. Thunder rolled off in the distance and Jay and Alex both figured that it would be making its way to Toronto soon.

Alex felt like Jay hadn't even heard her last comment because he hadn't said anything, but he had, he just didn't know what to say. Alex took a deep breath of air through her nose, and that was when she really noticed the lingering smell of alcohol that was coming from the backseat. She turned around to peer back there. The backseat, something that Jay always tried to make it look clean and nice, was a mess. Beer bottles and cans were scattered around; some of the beer that had been left in cans had leaked onto the seat and the floor. She looked back to the front with a sigh, and slumped down further into the seat. Jay had seen her look back, and he pursed his lips, lost in thoughts. She knew he drank, so why did it matter now that there was just a few bottles and cans back there? Not a few…. a lot.

She didn't even know why she had agreed to this anyway, but maybe if Jay had to stop to get something she could drive off and leave him, or better yet, shove him into his trunk, and lock him in there.

"Jay…where in the hell are we going?" she asked, breaking the silence.

Jay continued to look at the road, "Haven't you been paying attention? My house."

Alex rolled her eyes, "That's kind of hard considering it's raining so damn much I couldn't see a friggin flying cow! Why are we going to your house? I'm not going to hop into bed with you or anything."

Jay let out a noise, "Obviously, you left some of your clothes there, I thought that you could change into them."

"How considerate of you." She said snidely.

"I did say I was going to find you some clothes, didn't I?" Jay said harshly, and Alex nodded, "I guess you did."

They pulled up to the small house that Jay called home. It was shabby, but not as bad as hers was. His parents had decided to pay for it before they skipped out on him, so at least there was no rent to pay for. Just the regular bills. Most of the reason he stole, just to be able to pay for his lifestyle. He wasn't on student welfare, because one, his parents would come every once in awhile, and two, his grades weren't good enough as it was. Jay stopped the car, and Alex got out silently, shivering again as she left the warmth of his car to the cold street. He pulled the keys out, and got out as well, not talking at all, as he opened the door.

"Go ahead." He said softly, and Alex went in.

A/N: I just wanted to thank all of you who reviewed! Sorry if this isn't as good as you thought it would be, but I hit kind of a roadblock for a bit.

Lobel's girl: Aw, my first reviewer that argued with me when I thought it sucked. It still does in my book. :P, and yours is still better than mine, so heehee I win.

SandEforever: I agree, there does need to be more Jalex stories, I'm glad you liked my story.

DancerChild018: No, this won't be a one-shot because I know of a person that would kill me if it was.

Unwanted Souless Freak: Thank you for the review, I absolutely love your stories. I think they're perhaps some of the best Jalex/Alex stories out there. 


	3. The Truth Comes Out

Jay's house still looked like it hadn't been lived in long, and it hadn't, only about a few months at the most. He used to live in a nice house, one that was way too expensive for words, something that people probably didn't even think Jay should live in. He hadn't liked it there, but it was a shock to him when his parents went so far into debt that they had to sell it and buy this crappy home. Not to mention that then they decided to skip out on him. He turned on the lights, and went into the bedroom. He came out and handed the clothes to her, a pair of black pants, a white wife-beater, and her favorite black bra. She wondered where that had gone. She snatched them from him, and went to change in the bathroom. As she did, she thought about everything that had happened, and what she wasn't telling Jay. She hated how it seemed like he was still taking care of her, even after they'd broken up. Before she liked it, it made her feel safe, secure, and that someone actually cared. Once that crumbled, she was just overly annoyed with it all.

She got changed, sighing as she looked at the blood stains on her shirt that she had managed to keep hidden with the jacket, and hung her wet clothes on a towel rack, making sure that the blood was covered, and came out, looking at Jay, and saying simply, "Where's the beer?" Jay was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels, like they weren't going to go anywhere anytime soon.

"Where it always is, fridge." He said, not looking at her, and she walked into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle out of the small and rather ancient refrigerator, and popping it open, guzzling it for a few seconds, before sighing heavily.

She brought it back out with her, and sat on the opposite end of the couch. It seemed rather like it used to, only she wasn't close to him, and she was still pissed.

"Jay, I thought we were just coming to get me some clothes, not to watch TV."

Jay looked at her, "Alex, just chill. You have no where else to go, and we can leave in a little bit."

Alex took another gulp of her beer, "I'm not going to chill Jay, I can go to Ellie's and what if I want to leave now?"

Jay flicked off the TV, "Do you want to leave now? I was going to put your wet clothes in the dryer."

Alex looked back at him, before replying, "I can wait for my clothes, after all, I don't want to have to come back."

Jay would have looked hurt, but he managed to hide it. After what he did to her, he shouldn't have been hurt. He got up, and took her clothes off the towel rack, and went into the small laundry room. While he was in there, Alex leaned back into the soft and worn couch, thinking back to what had happened that day. She hated that she hadn't had came home sooner, and the thought of her mother made her sick to her stomach. The ambulance and police had left a good two hours before Jay had gotten there and she was surprised that he hadn't seen them. She realized within about two seconds that Jay was going to see the blood.

As tears started to well up into her eyes, stinging her eyes once again, she called out, "Jay!"

Jay was standing in the laundry room, clenching the shirt as he looked at it wide-eyed, his breath starting to grow shaky. His first thought was that she had killed someone, but he knew that she just wouldn't have hung around if she had.

Alex ran into the laundry room, tears now rolling down her cheeks.

"Lexxi…what happened?" Jay asked, his voice surprisingly shaky.

She didn't even care that he had called her that this time, because she only needed to tell him.

"I was lying…my parents didn't leave…Jay…..my parents are dead. He k-killed her and himself." She said, sobbing the words out as tears poured down her cheeks.

She could no longer hold it in anymore. It was just too much.

Jay's eyes widened, and he dropped the shirt,putting his arms around her. "Oh my god Alex…" he murmured, and Alex didn't push him away.

She almost did, but it felt comforting to be back in his arms, even if it wasn't going to be for long. "I tried to help her...but I was too late, I didn't get home in time..." she said, crying against him.

"Shhhh." he said softly, running his fingers through her hair.

A/N: Sorry about it being so short, and really rushed, I might try and make it better later, but I wanted to get this out of my head because it was driving me nuts. Thanks to you guys that reviewed, and I hope this isn't as crappy as I think it is.


	4. Just as Lost and Broken as You

Even though Alex thought it wouldn't be for long, they were that way for awhile. Him with his arms around her, murmuring to just let it all out, that he was sorry….but he knew that sorry didn't cut it. Sorry never had, not with what he had done to her, and certainly not with what had just happened. He just held her, she needed him, so he held her. They had ended up sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, as he stroked her hair and just let her cry.

They were brought back into reality, into carrying on a conversation again when she said into his chest, "I wish I had just died with them."

Jay let her go enough so he could look at her face, "Alex, don't ever say that, you don't want to die."

Alex wiped at her eyes roughly with one hand, her eyes taking on the protective and hard look again, "What do you know about what I want? You never did know." She pulled herself away from the warm and comforting arms of him as she got up. "Jay, just stay out of it."

Jay got up as well, "Hey. I knew sometimes and I'm not going to stay out of it! I'm going to help you get through this!"

Alex grabbed the shirt off the floor, "I knew I shouldn't have gotten in that car with you! Why do you care so much now? Isn't it too late for that?"

Jay ran a hand through his hair, "Alex, I've always cared, okay?" he said, looking uncomfortable about saying those feelings out loud. To Jay, it always seemed like it showed your weakness, telling someone you cared, that you loved them.

"I've you'd always cared you wouldn't have went to the ravine, Jay! You wouldn't have cheated on me with my best friend!" she said coldly, yelling now as more tears fell. Once they had started, it was too hard to get them to stop. "You were everything to me and then you did that." She spat, going over to the dryer to take clothes out. "You are a sorry excuse for a man, Jay. I shouldn't have ever came back here and I shouldn't have ever gone out with you."

Jay couldn't hide the hurt this time, it was evident in his face and his eyes. "Alex…." He then looked away and sighed heavily, "Nevermind…"

"No, Jay! Go right ahead and say it! I got to tear you apart, so how about you try to make me feel like it was my fault you gave me and STD." Alex said bitterly, turning around to face him, crossing her arms over her chest.

He took a deep breath, before he met her eyes with his own, "Alex, I'm not going to shift the blame to you. I know it was my fault and I've been living with it every damn day since." He paused, hating how he was turning into a sap and despising how he could care so damn much about one person when no one seemed to care about him. "Seeing you…..every day….and not being able to touch you, hold you….it's hell. I never knew what I had until I lost it…since then, I haven't really been living. Now, I'm not saying this shit because I want you. Hell, if it's better for you…then don't see me again, but I just need to say it. I need to say it for myself and for you because…..because loving someone like I love you scares me because I don't love. I hate. We both know that, but not you, not now. Hate me if you need to, but hate me knowing that I love you." He said it softly, and as simple as he could, his eyes only wavering a few times with the uncomfortable awkwardness of saying those feelings out loud, of showing he had a heart.

Alex's eyes had softened, as she wiped more tears away from her face. "I could never hate you, Jay. I've tried….but I could never." She said as she went over to him and wrapped her arms around him, putting her head against his chest. "I love you too." She whispered, and Jay smiled, and kissed the top of her head gently as he wrapped his arms around her, "We'll get through this…and we'll get through it together."

Fin

A/N: Well, there you have it folks. The last chapter. Sorry it took me so long, and I hope it wasn't a disappoint me. If you had asked me how I wanted it to end, I would have certainly said that I didn't think it would end this way, but I think I like it this way. It does seem a bit rushed to me though, and that bothers me but I can't really see how I can split it up with out butchering it to bits. Thank you for all the reviews and I may make a sequel some night when I'm bored. :) Either way, I'm sure I'll make another Jalex story soon! Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
